Shows for Hire

A Lifetime of Laughter

SHOWS FOR HIRE

Guess Who’s Having an Affair?

Full length Comedy/drama. 3M -3F.

The relationships of three couples are probed prior to finicky Helen’s dinner invitation in her hygienic new home which husband Bill, the plumber says is 'Like a mausoleum, not a comfortable chair in the joint’ . Steve, is fed up with butchering, he tells sensual, big is beautiful, Di, ‘Let’s toss it in and buy a caravan park’! Di, with Tuesdays off for tennis, sneers. Vince, self centered estate agent has lost a sale. Beth, Di’s best friend, questions living with younger egocentric Vince. The reluctant guests arrive. Di is hilarious, the dinner is a disaster. The communication break downs of the middle aged couples come to a head, when through accusations, intrigue and suspicion the question is asked Guess Who’s having an Affair? ‘A hilarious hit with ribald humour, sly innuendos and ockerisms’

Merlie’s Final Move for lovers and loathers alike of the dreaded football.

Full length comedy. 4 M - 4F + Cheer Squad.

Have your audiences roaring in the stands at this Australian take on men, women, marriage and footy! Frank, has followed the ‘Mongrels’ for 30 years. Merlie has followed Frank almost as long. Will Merlie succeed in taking Frank to the altar? Not if his family and friends have anything to do with it…best mate Tommy advises that “marriage is a living hell” and his Mum isn’t positive either. “Find yourself a proper woman Frank, not that Hislop creature’. Will Merlie win Frank or will she do as her best friend advises and ‘get a life’? Join Merlie and Frank, and all of the hilarious characters for a fun play. ‘Grab a meat pie and laugh the night away at this Ocker comedy where females verses footy!’

Bowl ‘Em Over

Music composed by Warren Peart. Full length comedy. 5F Main roles (5 smaller bowling ladies roles) 5M (plus 2 small roles or doubling). Mixed ages.

Plenty goes on behind the scenes at Lawn Bowls in small Aussie town. Action and intrigue bubbles along at a speedy pace, songs ensuring plenty of laughs. The Waghorn family include Social Secretary Mavis, henpecked President, Herb, and their non playing children, boring Bruce, boy mad Leanne & Wayne, leader of the Gripe Water Trio. Men, tired of women sing ‘One of these days, I'll walk right out of here.'. Beer drinking, chain smoking, gambler Gran, arrives. Mavis tries to steer Daphne off bowling, 'You'll never get a dress to fit you, Daphne!' Wal loves Daphne. George turns up. It's the Championships! ‘Someone’s ‘doing it’. ‘Literally never a dull moment in the show’

Is It On or Off?

Bride to be Sally, collects recently divorced mother, Lynn from airport. Sally’s aunty Marl visits sister Pat, Lyn’s Mum, daily with motel tales, organising Bernie (unseen) from her mobile. Pat married to Jack (heard, but unseen) hasn’t adjusted to his retirement! The invite arrives, Pat and Marl make plans to fly to Queensland, leaving the men home! They arrive at the shabby, hot as hell, motel to find Marl’s suitcase is missing! Temperatures and tempers are cooled by the pool. The more everyone helps, the more unsure Sally feels about marriage. Brother Mark and partner Kristy squabble. With one disaster after another will Sally cancel the wedding, again? ‘Laughter filled show about families, weddings and stress!’

Deandra’s Debut

(M) Full length comedy. 5M -5F plus Debs. at least 4 M - 4 F Debs. Mixed ages.

The Danceys, warm, loveable characters are as Aussie as their laminex table. Deandra is dead set on being a Deb because ‘All the girls are doing it! Short of work Dad thinks it’s poppycock! Mum’s fed up with the lot of them, especially Pop who nicks off to visit Gertie. Lennie and mate Starky are loafers and spoilt young Cassie gives Deandra a hard time. Deandra’s hopes fade, she doesn’t have a dress or a partner and Flame is going with Randolf! Aunty Cissy arrives and busies herself. Mrs Pringle trains the Debs who are presented to the Mayor & Mayoress, chosen nightly from audience who join in dancing the night away. ‘Side splitting comedy with rib tickling laughter.’

‘Riverboat Follies

M) Full length ONE SET. Romping Musical Melodrama. 7M - 5F . Mixed ages. Chorus if desired.

Singing, dancing trip to the Goldfields on Captain Bully's shonky Showboat run by shady deckhands. Passengers, sleazy card shark and voluptuous side kick, loveless Nancy plus beautiful heroine who with her map dreams of finding gold!. Bully is short of the last boat down payment. Nagging wife Myrtle plans a fund raising show. Willy Bully is love struck with the heroine who is unjustly tossed overboard, where frail and hungry she meets the conniving Gypsy. Deckhands plan to rob the Captain's till. Continuous fun and action on and off stage. Written in rhyme. Feet tapping cabaret fun for all.

Furness Family Funerals

Full length farce. 5M - 4 F. Mixed ages. ONE SET

The Furness family are an odd lot, business is dead quiet. Desperate Redwood succumbs to stuffing pets! Willow, white faced coffin maker is strange. Perce used to drive the hearse. Birch wants out. Maple makes curtains from coffin linings and Verity fills freezers with tasty treats. Gilda arrives with business. Bit off Cypress offers her a job! Gilda reports them. A coffin is missing! The hearse is missing! Gilda's missing and Cypress! Funeral fun with a family of nutters!

Once in your Life

(M) Comedy/drama. Script & Lyrics by Carol B Cole. Original Music by Warren Peart. 5M - 7F. Chorus if desired. Excellent roles for mixed ages.

Families, strangers, friends, lovers, ex lovers prepare to holiday at ‘Mountain Grange Guest House’ where lives will be changed, some forever. On arrival they find the feuding owners have departed, leaving the young staff in charge. Gerald Potts chose the ‘Grange’ with a pin, wife Abby wonders why she didn’t leave him and whinging teenager Polly at home. For old shearer Harry, and loveable Joyce it’s their annual meeting place. Business woman Clare, feels duty bound to take her domineering on holiday. Robert realises bringing Trixie was a mistake. The music is delightful, a mixture of toe tappers, blues and sentimental. Laugh, clap, brush away a tear as emotions are stirred..

If the Shoe Fits

(M) A cheeky Adult Panto. based on ‘Cinderella’ Full length. 6M. 4F. (Ugly sisters played by males, one very large, one thin)

The Uglies are off to the Royal Ball. Cinders sulks in the kitchen, comforted by friendly mouse, Molly. Is she really a goody two shoes? Bert, Queen’s messenger, secretly loves Cinders. Will Fairy Gonsella, Queen’s herbalist, succeed in making Prince Willy manly, produce a ball gown and carriage for Cinders? The King’s a sly old devil. The Uglies’ mother has a secret past. A fun filled pantomime with delightful characters, bright music, and a twist in the tail. Ideal Christmas cabaret

Crook Cruise

(M) Full length ONE SET. 4M - 6F Mixed ages. A cruise to remember, or forget! Bright simple music. ? Chorus of dancers

Gary, Fleur and Rose are the charismatic, almost, events organisors who attempt to make the daily grind of activities fun! It’s first time on board ship for Steward, Russell, who doesn’t weather the storm well! For Steffi and Andy it should be romantic. Fleur is on the loose! Paula has a secret mission, Russell lends a hand! Retired Harvey, seeks a companion, preferably rich, but not Lily! Glad, Dahlia and Poppy are past their prime. Action abounds aboard the ‘Blue Seas’ liner.

The Peril of Beryl

(M) 4M - 8F Full length melodrama during rehearsal.

Narrator/director Neville is depressed as opening night looms. Back stage manager complains, Beryl’s miserable, Myrtle the pianist is late and the hero is sick. Painter/sound effects man Colin, can’t cope with ‘up themselves actors’. Prompt Ruby is a ‘not very secret’ drinker! Lil, owner of Lil’s Low Life, with ‘seen better days’, Lovelies, Mil, Babe, Elle and Roxy. Second night things improve. Hero sails off to save the day, leaving Poor Beryl, ailing baby and Gran to struggle on. Wicked landlord demands payment or Beryl in his bed! Gran makes plans. Loads of fun and audience participation.

Feel it Doing You Good

(M) Full length comedy. 4M – 6F

Full circle life story of Maggie and Robert Kneebone, interacted by younger Meg and Bobby. Robert’s widowed mother Grace, tries to dissuade him from marrying Meg, who gives up her dream cottage to move to the farm. Grace sets about organising the big wedding. Time passes. Meg now 40, announces ‘I’m pregnant!’ in Julie’s Gossip and Gobble café. Bobby turns to his pigeons for comfort. Lindee is born (on stage), Grace makes amusing appearances. Maggie enters Lindee (played by Meg) in a Baby Show complete with other singing (adult cast) babies. Next the Tiny Tots Quest and the ‘Miss Personality’ won by enemy, Cherylene. Lindee starts her Juice Jugs business and falls in love with Garry. Who will marry in the end? Lots of bright music and doubling up in hilarious roles.

Snow White and the Seven Dorks

(M) Cheeky adult Panto. 7M – 7F (Wiffy is female)

Stumpy, Stinky, Scungy, Salty, Scruffy, Crusher, Tacca and greyhound Wiffy Dork live in the woods. Tired of doing for themselves, they advertise for live in help. Beautiful Snow White lives in palace with horrid stepmother, Queen Norsia and her miserable maids, Dottie, Fottie, Lottie & Jerry. Crusher falls in love with Snow White. The moving about Mirror sees and tells all! The maids escape and arrive at the Dorks! Norsia’s plan to have Snow White beheaded fails! She arrives at the Dorks with poison fruit on her person. Wiffy saves the day. Scruffy enters Wiffy in the Greyhound Cup! Sing, clap and cheer Wiffy to the finish line. Everyone’s a winner in this fun show!

So You Wont be Needing Me then

One act comedy. 2M 2F. Approx. 45. mm.

Edwin, a lecturer, waits patiently for Rose, they are going to his sister's birthday party. Rose suddenly decides she can't tolerate another night with Edwin's lot. The baby sitter, Jenny arrives. Edwin leaves. Rose and Jenny talk. Edwin comes and goes. Rose's mother rings, she's coming to stay! Edwin has forgotten the flowers. His student, Sam arrives. Rose agrees to go to the party, before mentioning the impending visit, Edwin re-acts. Rose takes to her bed. Jenny leaves. Edwin leaves. Rose attempts to seduce Sam. Jenny returns. Edwin returns!